Spiteful Shadow
Hearing the cruel words that sentenced Solvane to thousands of years of harrowing torment, Sunny couldn't help but feel a dark, euphoric sense of glee.
The memory of pain she had visited upon him and the faces of those she had killed flashed in front of his eyes once again, making that glee grow even sweeter.
'Good… good…'
The only thing Sunny regretted was that he had killed Solvane in the distant future, releasing her from that torment. If he had known better back then, he would have left her to rot.
Noctis coldly stared at the squirming priestess for a moment, and then turned around, as if intending to leave.
Solvane let out a groan of agony, more vines breaking through her skin and crawling down to the floor.
"W—wait!"
She struggled to raise her head and look up, her eyes full of fear.
"Noctis… you have to… kill me. You won't be able to… free her… if I am alive!"
The sorcerer stopped, lingered for a moment, and then glanced at her over the shoulder. His face was cold and unmoving.
After a long pause, he said nonchalantly:
"...Hope is a great, powerful daemon. She can handle a shackle or two on her own."
As Solvane's eyes widened, Noctis looked away and took a step toward the gates of the hold.
And Sunny, meanwhile…
Was doing the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.
***
Sunny was walking toward the edge of the cargo hold, where the wooden knife was lodged into the wall.
Every step he made felt as if he was dragging a mountain with him.
No, it was much harder than that…
A mountain would have been heavy, but dragging it along was a simple task. Hard, or maybe even impossible, but simple nevertheless. However, he was not struggling against physical weight.
Instead, Sunny was struggling against his very nature.
He had grown up in the outskirts, fighting for his life in a cruel, indifferent world. He had to learn a lot of vicious lessons to survive. Those lessons made him selfish, cynical, and jaded, unwilling to trust anyone or believe in anything.
Those qualities had helped him to remain alive, but as his life changed, some of them turned into a hindrance. Slowly and painfully, he had shed his previous skin and learned new things. He learned to trust those who deserved to be trusted, and have hope in himself and the future.
However, one thing he never managed to leave behind — and did not really want to — was his spite. Spite had been the only thing that motivated him to survive the First Nightmare, after all. Back then, and maybe even now, it was his only reason to live.
And so, Sunny was not big on forgiveness. He could not even forgive Cassie, at least not fully, despite everything that they had been through together before and after her decision to put Neph's life before his own.
He believed in the value of retribution. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… that was the ancient law. No one should be able to trample on him and remain unpunished.
That was why the very thought of letting Solvane die in peace seemed abhorrent to him.
And yet…
His trembling hand landed on the handle of the wooden knife.
Sunny was a very stubborn person.
Gritting his teeth, he dislodged the knife from the wall and swayed a little, struggling to keep the all-consuming hatred that drowned his mind at bay.
Yes, he wanted Solvane to pay, he wanted her to suffer.
But… even more than that, he wanted fate to go to hell. He could not allow for another thing to happen just like it had happened in the real past. He needed to prove, once and for all, that he was not a marionette that hung powerlessly from the strings of fate, able only to dance to a predetermined tune.
He was also really outraged at the thought of Hope messing with his mind.
And this was where the scorching intensity of his hatred for the War Maiden had come from, without a doubt — from the poisonous influence of the Demon of Desire, who had taken his trauma, sorrow, and anger, and turned it into a weapon to subjugate him.
It was a weird thing, to know that his fury was fabricated, but at the same time welcome it and be tempted to surrender to it.
And that temptation… ah, it was way harder to overcome than the weight of a mountain.
'Why am I even doing this? She deserves to suffer… wouldn't it be splendid to leave her to suffer… wouldn't it be the most joyous thing ever? Oh, it would… I can't imagine anything sweeter…'
Sunny struggled to even remember why he was holding the knife.
'Oh, right… fate… I did promise to destroy it, didn't I? That was because… because my fate is to be a slave. I don't really want to be a slave… but who cares? I want Solvane to be tortured for eternity much more than I want to be free… freedom is distant, and abstract. Who even wants it? But retribution, it's right here… and feels so wonderful…'
Gritting his teeth, he made a step forward.
Step. Step. Another step.
Walking across the cargo hold of the broken ship was much harder than it had been to climb a cold, dark mountain in chains.
He wasn't sure that he was going to make it.
His face was contorted by an ugly grimace, and his dark eyes burned with mad glee.
Then, Sunny stopped.
'I… I change my mind. It is worth it! Surrendering to fate is worth it, if it means that this hateful witch will be tortured endlessly. This will be right… this will be just… this will be the best outcome of all…'
Sunny sighed, and smiled with relief.
Now that he decided to surrender to fate, it was as though a terrible weight was lifted from his shoulders. He was free to bask in the joy of revenge, revel in it. He was unburdened, ecstatic, and at peace.
Sunny smiled…
…And thrust the wooden knife into Solvane's chest.
'Damnation…'
Yes, leaving the War Maiden to suffer felt right and just.
But Sunny had never been righteous, and did not really care about being just. And more importantly than that, he wanted to spite fate much more than he wanted to avenge himself on Solvane.
...The beautiful priestess shuddered and looked at him with, pain and relief mixing in her mesmerizing eyes.
Then, her gaze slowly turned empty, losing the spark of life, and her body fell to the floor.
Sunny grimaced, feeling bitterly disappointed. He was not happy with his choice at all. He felt terrible.
But it had to be done.
As the wooden knife broke in his hand, the Spell whispered:
[You have slain a Transcendent human, Solvane.]
[Your shadow grows stronger.]
[...You have received a Memory.]
He blinked.
'Huh… another Memory? How does it even work?'
And then, Sunny suddenly felt really uncomfortable. As if someone was staring at his back.
He turned around slowly and met the sorcerer's dark gaze.
Noctis looked at him, and then bared his teeth in a dangerous smile.
"Sunless… what did you do?"
Sunny shivered, suddenly feeling very cold.
'Crap…'
