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Trinity
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For a few days I didn't hear that voice. I didn't feel like I was making a massive mistake every moment of the day. I didn't feel like I was a screw up. For a few days, I had peace.
However, at Talia's birthday party, I started to hear that whisper when everyone was close by. I usually only heard it when I was near a large group of people, maybe because I was afraid that they were going to see me as a fraud and a failure.
Still, while I was trying to enjoy my little girl's special day, I didn't want to hear that voice or feel that way at all.
'They will…see them dead…your fault…can't stop it…it's coming…run away…kill them…will be destroyed…your fault…they will die…destruction…' The voice was barely there, just a whisper that was all jumbled. I wasn't able to hear all the words that it had to say to me, it was like so many of them were missing and just trying to decipher it was enough to give me a headache.
The days following the party I did my best to try and maintain my composure as I spent time with my friends and family. I tried my best to enjoy myself and be happy. Only, I wasn't happy. I was feeling miserable. I was not able to concentrate or to focus on anything at all. I felt miserable and I couldn't really explain to anyone why I felt that way.
I didn't want them to know. None of them. Not even Reece.
I know that I promised I would tell Reece the next time that something was bothering me or when something wasn't right, but I couldn't tell him about this. I couldn't tell him that I thought that I was going crazy. I didn't want him to know what it was that I was feeling and thinking. I didn't want to make him think that I wasn't good enough or somehow damaged.
No, I had to hide this. I needed to hide it from him, no matter how many times he asked me what was wrong. I needed to hide it from Lila and Grandfather, I didn't need to ruin their upcoming wedding. I needed to hide it from Mom and Dad, who asked me every single time that they saw me what was wrong. No, I couldn't tell them.
And I needed to avoid Juniper for the time being. She might be able to sense that I was going crazy. With her mental health focused gift and all that. I knew that it would all go away soon. I had a feeling that once I got back to work and stopped ignoring my responsibility, it would go away. Then I would be at peace again.
The month was almost over already. It was almost time for Aunt Glory, Athair mòr, Trevor, Daci, Torben, Lily, and Rose to go home along with their slew of guards and attendants. Maybe I was just more stressed by their sudden visit than I thought. I thought it was all making me happy, but I hadn't been prepared for it and therefore it ended up stressing me out somewhat.
I wasn't going to tell them to leave though. I loved them and wanted them here with me. I wanted to visit with them. Not to mention that I needed to ask them about how I should delegate the work to make things easier on me. I didn't want to burden people or anything like that. And I didn't want to give someone a job that should only be handled by me. Because of that, I didn't know what to do about it all.
Maybe, I will invite Aunt Glory and Athair mòr to lunch. Just the two of them and me. That would give us time to talk privately. I didn't want anyone else to know what I was thinking about doing either. I didn't want them to think that I was a failure as a queen.
About two days or so before they were all due to leave, I sat down to lunch with Aunt Glory and Athair mòr. They were both wearing the smiles of people that were happy with their lives. I knew why they were so happy. Their reasons were the same ones that brought me joy. The love of their family, the love of their mates, the bliss that was the everyday mundane. It may not sound exciting enough to make them this happy, but it truly was.
"I am so happy to see the joy that you both have." I grinned at them. "I know you both wanted this for so long, and seeing you finally get it, makes me happy."
"We're only this happy because of you, Trinity. Without you we never would have found our happiness." Athair mòr reached across the small table and took my hand so that he could grip it tightly.
"He's right, Trinity." Aunt Glory took my other hand from across the table. "Val and I were only able to find our mates and have families because of you. I can't thank you enough. I am finally a mother, after millennia, I finally got to experience that joy."
"I'm happy for you, Aunt Glory. I am happy that you have your family, and that by extension I get to have more babies in my life." I grinned at her as I thought about how cute Torben was.
"Don't you ever plan on having more?" Athair mòr asked me as if it was just a casual thing.
"I don't know. Probably, at some point. But I don't know when I should. Not to mention, we're immortal now, and I could have a kid a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, but, should I? Should I really do that when my kids will be so much older?"
That, for some reason, made Athair mòr laugh. I just raised an eyebrow at him though and he finally got to a point where he could answer me.
"Well, think about it, Trinity. I have two year old twins, and another baby on the way. But my son, the man that is your great great grandfather, was born centuries ago. I don't think that it really matters. You know, since Lily and Rose are actually you great great great great aunts." He was laughing again and this time, I joined him. What he was saying was so true that I couldn't help it. If I looked at a family tree, even though I was a lot older than his twins, and even my twins were older than them, they were a lot higher on the family trees since their branch was right below Athair mòr's instead of several generations away.
With immortality now being something that we all had, family trees were going to start looking really odd. And family reunions were going to get a lot more crowded soon. That thought was a little funny, if you think about it. I could imagine someone trying to introduce their family to other people.
'Here we have my parents.'
'But they look the same age as you.'
'Yup, and over there are my grandparents. They look about ten years older than me but they're actually five hundred and eighty-nine. Over there are my great grandparents and so on and so on.'
Yeah, a human's mind would explode at a conversation like that.. It was funny to think about though.
