Talia's heart ached as she was unable to erase from her mind graphic images and sounds of Damon and Marcy, and the floodgates of her insecurities collapsed.
"I am trying to understand you, Damon. I really am. But you need to understand me also. How would you feel if that was a video of me and some other guy touching me while I am saying how my body belongs to him and I want him to…?", Talia couldn't finish. "I need space. This is suffocating. Let me go, Damon."
"Ask me for anything, except for that."
In one swift move, Damon turned Talia to face him, and his hug was tighter than before.
"I'm never going to let go of you, kitten, but if you are set on leaving, I can't stop you. The only thing I will ask you is to take my heart with you because it's yours. Everything I have and everything I am belongs to you.", he spoke into her hair, just above her ear. "There is no point in overthinking this. Both of us know that there is only you and no one else. I know you are angry, scared, and disappointed. I can feel it. Curse me, hit me, do whatever you need to get it out of your system, but don't leave me. I will endure your wrath gladly, do your worst."
He really feared that she will give him a slip and he won't find her.
"Just an hour ago, in this room, you promised that we will do everything together. Let's deal with this together. I need you…", Damon's voice cracked as his desperation mixed with Talia's anguish and Talia fisted his shirt angrily.
Talia was angry because she couldn't tune out the negativity that surrounded her. She didn't want to be cautious. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to believe that there is such a thing as a happy ending and that she will reach there with Damon by her side.
Talia could feel Damon's sincerity and anxiousness and she knew he meant it. She knew that he loved her with every fiber of his being. She knew that he would give his life for her, and she would do the same for him. Why was that not enough?
She didn't want to think about the past that can't be changed or dread the uncertain future.
Talia spent most of her life alone and now she had a man who would do anything for her. Why can't she just be happy?
"Let's go.", Damon said.
"Where?", she asked.
"Into the forest. Isn't that a place where you go to calm down? Let's go. Together."
Yes, Talia wanted to leave the packhouse, and she was thinking about the forest, but… "I will go alone."
Damon cupped Talia's cheeks with his palms and planted a light kiss on her forehead. "We are mates, kitten. If you leave, I will look for you and not stop until I find you. You will never be alone because I will be with you, no matter where you go."
With that, Damon scooped Talia into his arms and carried her out of the study, down the hallway, outside of the packhouse, through the garden, and into the forest.
"Do you know where you want to go?", Damon asked.
"Not really. I would go wherever my legs carry me."
"OK. I will pick a spot.", Damon said and increased his pace.
Talia was surprised at how quickly Damon can move with her in his arms, and it didn't look like he was getting tired at all. His hold was solid, and she could feel his warmth and addictive scent and her body moved on its own to lean on Damon.
Talia chided herself. Shouldn't she be upset at him? She was traumatized by watching the nasty video of Damon fondling Marcy!
She loved him to pieces and she hated that he was holding her with the same arms that he held many other women before her. Will she ever be able to accept Damon's past without her stomach forming painful knots? Talia thought she was over it, but that wretched video made her feel dirty.
"Can you let me down?", Talia asked.
"Allow me to do this for you, kitten. Your struggle against your wolf exhausted you."
"How do you know…?", Talia's voice trailed when she saw Damon's knowing look directed at her.
"I know that your wolf thinks badly of me, and that was not you."
Talia was not sure if he was right. Was that not her? Other than the words how Damon is not worthy of her, Talia actually agreed with the rest. She wished that his past was different, she wished that she never saw that nasty video, she wished that Damon never touched Marcy.
Talia wanted to chop off Damon's hand that fondled Marcy, or maybe to tear Marcy into a million pieces, but Talia knew that was irrational. It won't solve anything. Besides, if Talia starts going after every woman Damon touched, she will end up on the most-wanted list as a serial killer.
Talia thought that the best way to deal with the ghosts of Damon's past was to ignore them. Those are not hers to face. But if they are not hers, why are they haunting her? How can she pretend that numerous women like Cassie, Marcy, Ashley, and Heather are not important when they are popping out from everywhere and disturbing her peace?
Maybe instead of ignoring Damon's past, she should confront it?
"What my wolf said…", Talia paused while firming her resolve. "I agree."
Damon's steps slowed down. "With which part?"
"About Marcy coming here."
Damon's brows came together. "Are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"No.", Damon was quick to respond. "But… I fear that you will get upset. When your mental state is weakened, that gives an opportunity for your wolf to take over. It happens to all of us."
"She was protecting me."
"I know." He regretted that the enemy, in this case, was him. "I am not against your wolf, but she just woke up and she should be familiar with the situation before she makes decisions in your stead."
Talia agreed with this. Her wolf saw only the video of Damon with Marcy and heard Talia's thoughts at that time (which were not good). If her wolf knew how kind and attentive Damon was, maybe she wouldn't be so harsh, but that didn't mean her wolf was wrong.
"My wolf said that you should get Marcy here and deal with her. I agree with that.", Talia said sternly. "I know there is a risk of jeopardizing strained relationship between your pack and the Red Moon pack, but they are the ones who came after you first and we will never have peace if others can pressure you by using politics or their position."
The whole conversation would be much more serious if Damon was not moving between thick bushes while holding her in his arms like a princess, but Talia worked with what she had.
"Our pack", Damon corrected Talia. Whenever she spoke like the Dark Howlers pack was only his, she was distancing herself from him and he didn't like it.
"Fine!", Talia snapped. "OUR pack. Happy? Now can you focus on the important part?"
"Alright.", Damon said.
Talia didn't get it. "Alright, what?"
Damon inhaled deeply before responding, "When I became the Alpha of the Dark Howlers pack, others didn't take me seriously. They treated me like a youngster who didn't know what he was doing, and they were right; most of the time, I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew how to fight. When they realized that a direct approach was not working, they started using underhanded methods to manipulate me, including pushing women into my bed. And I... was taking advantage of the situation. Caden helped me in gathering dirt on the women who coveted to be my Luna, and I would expose them."
Talia understood that the folder 'Evidence' where she found the horrid video is the one with the dirt that Damon collected with Caden's help.
"I know it was despicable of me to do such things, but I didn't force any of them. I only collected evidence on what they did of their own will.", Damon paused and looked at Talia with sincerity she could feel. "When I did those things, I had no idea what it means to have a mate. Feeling your sadness is killing me on the inside. The only thing I can do is make sure I treat these issues seriously going forward. No more games. I will send a message to Alpha Edward and everyone else that if they try something like that again, they are risking a war."
Part of Talia was moved that Damon told her all this. It was rare of Damon to talk about his past and even rarer to admit he made a mistake. But if he had any decency in that licentious mind of his, he wouldn't end up in this situation! They were sending women to his bed only because they saw that he is not refusing them! Bastard!
