Maddox pondered about his and Tatiana's current situation for some time until he thought of one possibility.
"You want me to court you, how humans do?", Maddox asked with disapproval in his voice. "You know that we are not humans, right? I am Alpha who found his mate. I have a pack to lead, thousands of people are depending on me. Are you really expecting me to pick you up in the evening, take you for dinners, movies, and do gentlemanly who-knows-what while pretending that I'm interested in whatever you have to say?"
"Of course, not!", Tatiana snapped, her words full of sarcasm. "In the name of the mate bond, we should just get naked and fuck each other's brains out! Heavenly thunder will descend on you if you are actually interested in what I have to say because it's all about me being submissive and popping out Alpha babies to continue your bloodline."
"Fuck!", Maddox exclaimed while punching the air angrily. He really wanted to fuck Tatiana and impregnate her, but... "That's not what I meant!"
"That's what you said!"
"Don't put words into my mouth!", Maddox growled.
"Right. My foot into your mouth will fit better."
Maddox raised his hands, palms facing Tatiana, indicating to her to calm down and he took a few deep breaths before continuing.
"What I meant was that we have mate bond, and that is proof we are made for each other. I will do my best to provide for you in every way possible as long as there is breath left in me. Of course, I will treat you well, but there is no need for that advance courting shit humans do because it's fake anyway. I'm sure you dated a human or two. Did they take you on romantic dates? Did they shower you with presents and made you feel like a princess? And how did that end? It doesn't look to me you got your happily ever after because you are still single."
Tatiana pressed her lips into a line. He was right. But… "The mate bond doesn't give you the right to act like a caveman."
"Caveman!?", Maddox was outraged. "I won't lie to you, Tanya. Do I want to have sex with you? YES! I want to fuck you and make you scream my name until you lose your voice, and then I will feed you honey and warm water to soothe your vocal cords before I fuck you more."
Tatiana pressed her legs together. His words were infuriating, but somehow they turned her on. What was wrong with her?
She had to say something. "Why are you talking like it's just about sex?"
Maddox narrowed his eyes at her. "Be honest, Tanya. Is there anything else you want to do with me right now?"
He could smell her arousal and it was driving him insane. But even more exasperating was that she was denying what both of them wanted because he messed up that morning.
It was one mistake. One stupid mistake!
Will she cock-block him every time he messes up?
What happened with talking?
He was ready to negotiate, but what about her?
"I want you to treat me well.", she said eventually.
"I will need more information.", Maddox responded with all the seriousness in the world.
"We are equals and you can't expect that I will drop everything just to be with you. I have a life that won't be put on hold or disappear just because we met."
"Equals.", Maddox said solemnly with a nod. "We will need to work out the details, but I can promise that I won't expect you to be the only one to compromise in the situation where we disagree. Anything else?"
Tatiana lowered her head and bit her lower lip. Was there anything else?
She had a feeling that Maddox will do whatever she asks him, but other than the freedom to continue with her career, she didn't have much to ask for.
Tatiana was startled when she felt his fingers touching her chin. When did he get so close?
"Tell me, Tanya…", Maddox murmured while his intense gaze prevented her from looking away. "How can I put you at ease and make you understand that I will treat you like my queen? I will do anything to ensure your safety and happiness, Tanya. I don't know much about women, and I definitely don't know about your heart's desires, and that is why I will rely on you to talk to me openly. So, tell me… what do you want?"
The sparks of their bond prickled her chin where his fingers rested, and she released a shaky breath.
What did she want?
She wanted to do over that morning.
If she can get that... when he asked her to go upstairs, she would insist to go into her room, and they would spend the rest of the day (and probably longer) just enjoying each other… and he would fuck her until she turns hoarse and then he would feed her warm water and honey, and she would spill some on purpose and ask him to lick her clean.
That all sounded perfect, but unfortunately, that boat sailed away the moment those two she-wolves appeared at the door of Maddox's bathroom and Tatiana saw his messed up bed and realized that the sticky scent lingering in the room was a remnant of the previous night.
Will Tatiana ever be able to forget that image? Probably not. But, will she be able to forgive him?
"I have difficulty digesting what happened this morning, Max.", Tatiana said. "I wish that I know what can fix that, but I don't. Maybe I should make you experience a similar thing…" Her voice trailed when she saw his expression scrunching into a scary grimace.
Tatiana jerked her head out of his hold. "See? Just the thought is making you furious. Would you forgive me if it actually happened?"
Maddox was bubbling with rage. "You can't make me experience the same thing because when I left those two she-wolves in my room, I didn't know you are my mate" And he told them to leave! "And if you…"
"I know.", Tatiana interrupted him. "And this is exactly what I'm talking about. If I want to make you experience something similar, it will only create another layer of bitterness between us. You want me to turn a blind eye and pretend that this morning didn't happen, or that I am not bothered. If I could do that, I would. Do you think that I enjoy torturing myself? I can't deceive myself, Max."
"So, what do you want?", he asked again, this time his words were sharp, and they cut straight into her heart. "Are you saying that no matter what I do, you won't accept me? If that's the case… reject me. Or do you want me to make a complete ass of myself first? Is that what you want?"
Tatiana opened her mouth and then closed it. She really didn't know what to say.
She could feel their bond and she wanted to give in and things to work out, but she didn't know how.
"Where are you going?", Tatiana asked when Maddox abruptly stood up and started walking away.
"I'm leaving.", he said without turning to look at her. "Since you have no desire to find a solution, there is no point in staying here because we will only argue. If you ever figure out what you want, come and find me. It's easy to find me. I am Alpha Maddox, Alpha of the Blue River pack. It's not Blue-whatever pack. It's Blue River. Remember that much." And then he continued walking away.
Tatiana looked at Maddox's retreating back, and her heart cracked. She could feel his pain, or maybe that was hers.
Maddox was hoping to make things right, or at least to start moving in the right direction. He was ready to negotiate and to give her whatever she wanted but he realized that negotiations failed before they started.
Maddox forced his legs to keep moving.
Every fiber of his being wanted to go back there and kiss Tatiana senselessly, but he knew that won't solve the problem, and if he acts on that impulse, he might get slapped again.
Both of them needed to be fully committed to each other in order to make it work, but Tatiana was not ready to compromise.
It takes two for a relationship, and Maddox was feeling alone.
He thought how it's ironic. For the first time in his life, he felt the need for more than just a physical release, yet the only woman who could fill the gaping hole in his chest was not willing to be with him.
